Ephesians 5:15-33

Read 

Ephesians 5:15-33

15Be careful then how you live, not as unwise people but as wise, 16making the most of the time, because the days are evil. 17So do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, 19as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, singing and making melody to the Lord in your hearts, 20giving thanks to God the Father at all times and for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
21 Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. 24Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, 27so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind-yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. 28In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30because we are members of his body. 31'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' 32This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. 33Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.

Think:

A few years ago I was at a wedding where they used this reading and the priest preached specifically on this reading and I was troubled.  I was troubled because he interpreted this reading much like the line in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding - the man maybe the head of the family but the woman is the neck who turns the head in the direction she wants ...  I don't think this is what Paul is saying here.  I don't think this is the intention.  "Subject to one another out of reverence for Christ" is more than just one body part telling another what to do.  This is more than subjecting ones self to ones spouse, this is a respect thing.  This isn't a subjaction thing.

I had this same problem when I was writing my thesis in my first masters program.  When I looked at Isalm and Christianity and compared their views on tolerance and love, the basic principle that linked the two was submission.  It is not an act of giving up ones self because one is less than the other person, but in recognizing that I am less than God.  I am less than Christ.  I am less than the Holy Spirit.  BUT I am part of the Church.  I am submitting to be part of something greater than myself.

At this same wedding a few years back, the groom made a joke about making sure that his strong willed fiance submit to his every whim and his groomsmen laughed during rehearsal.  I was a bridesmaid and rolled my eyes and scoffed, but as I was preparing to get married and this passage came back to haunt me.  It was listed in the possible readings for the service I went back and looked at it and I thought about what it would mean and what it would sound like if this passage were read at our ceremony.

The wall I hit, hard, was this.  Everyone pays attention to the first and last line of this passage and no one will hear that "This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church."  I don't think that love is such a great mystery, but I do think that marriage is.  I think that marriage is something different than love.  there are plenty of great love affairs to be considered, romance is important but the mystery is in marriage.  It truly is a great submission one to another, and one another to God, it is a spiritual submission.  Its not a submission of self to other but self to God which makes marriage work.

The bride does not submit to her husband's every whim.  The bride does not turn the grooms head where ever she wants.  The couple in their desire to serve God submit to on another out of respect and deference- recognizing that each has their gifts and each has their weaknesses.  It is in God that they are made whole, and it is in one another that they see God.

Prayer:

Dear God, in your wisdom you gave us the sacrament of marriage.  Help those who enter into it and those who have made covenantal promises remain true to you the one and only Supreme being.  Do not let us assume that we are closer to you than our partner in this covenant. Do not let our wills over shadow your will.  Give us strength to submit to your will in our daily life and work, recognizing that one person is no better than the next and each of us is beloved in your sight.  As shown through your loving Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit which protects and guides us through the day and night.  Amen

Contemplate:

15 minutes centering prayer

This is not the wedding to which I refer above, but I think this is a good "image" of submission under God.