Ephesians 4:17-32

Read:
17 Now this I affirm and insist on in the Lord: you must no longer live as the Gentiles live, in the futility of their minds. 18They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of their ignorance and hardness of heart. 19They have lost all sensitivity and have abandoned themselves to licentiousness, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20That is not the way you learned Christ! 21For surely you have heard about him and were taught in him, as truth is in Jesus. 22You were taught to put away your former way of life, your old self, corrupt and deluded by its lusts, 23and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24and to clothe yourselves with the new self, created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. 25So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. 26Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27and do not make room for the devil. 28Thieves must give up stealing; rather let them labor and work honestly with their own hands, so as to have something to share with the needy. 29Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption. 31Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, 32and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.

Think

Be angry but do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil.

Some of the best advice aparently about marriage is don't go to bed angry.  I know because that's what a number of people wrote on my advice apron for my wedding shower gift.  But its not always that easy.  Anger isn't always directed at your spouse.  How do you not go to bed angry with yourself?  That's the real question.  I was stupid and fell down the stairs, I can't read a map, I didn't work out today, I' wasn't happy with my sermon that I preached a few weeks ago.  Its much easier to be angry with someone else than to be angry with oneself.  Its likewise much easier to forgive someone else than it is to forgive oneself.  At least in my experience.  I'm still beating myself up for false starting at swimming leagues- disqualifying myself and not making it to districts.

So how do I not invite the devil into bed with me?  I do it when I lay down at night and recount all my sins from the day large and small and try to forgive myself.  I do it when I let those who love me live down the embarassing moments, when I get through the day without incountering wrath and anger and evil talk.  Or when I do encounter those things and am able to remember that those are not the words of God.  Those are not the actions of God those are not the ways of God.

I don't want to invite the devil to dance, but sometimes he cuts in.  Sometimes I can't forgive myself even for stupid things.  That's where the Church comes in, that's where the Body of Christ comes in.  That's also where therapy comes in (and I have to find a new therapist as soon as I get my new insurance cards... where are those stupid things).  That's why we have confession, that's why we have absolution, that's why we have forgiveness.

Things aren't always happy, I do get angry.  I will get angry with those who I love and I will get angry with myself.

Pray:

Help me o God of forgiveness to forgive myself and forgive those who I love.  Help me God to dance with the devil only slightly and allow myself the freedom to accept your grace, although I do not deserve it.  You dined with sinners, you'd dine with me.  You died for sinners, you died for me.  Help me to over come the anger that I have for myself and the disappointment that I hold on to, believing that it is your disappointment.  Help me God to forgive myself as you have forgiven me.

Contemplation :

20 minutes centering prayer.