Mark 6: 30- 46

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Mark 6: 30- 46 (NRSV)

30 The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. 31He said to them, 'Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.' For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. 32And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. 33Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. 34As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. 35When it grew late, his disciples came to him and said, 'This is a deserted place, and the hour is now very late; 36send them away so that they may go into the surrounding country and villages and buy something for themselves to eat.' 37But he answered them, 'You give them something to eat.' They said to him, 'Are we to go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread, and give it to them to eat?' 38And he said to them, 'How many loaves have you? Go and see.' When they had found out, they said, 'Five, and two fish.' 39Then he ordered them to get all the people to sit down in groups on the green grass. 40So they sat down in groups of hundreds and of fifties. 41Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to his disciples to set before the people; and he divided the two fish among them all. 42And all ate and were filled; 43and they took up twelve baskets full of broken pieces and of the fish. 44Those who had eaten the loaves numbered five thousand men.
45 Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. 46After saying farewell to them, he went up on the mountain to pray.

Think

Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest as while... Even the disciples when they tried for a retreat were greeted by great need.  They went to do the "self-work" that all people in service professions need to prevent burn out, but what they found was a crowd in the thousands waiting to be fed.  Waiting to hear the word of the Lord.  Waiting in this desolate place where they were not prepared to take care of themselves.  Is this an analogy for life or what?  How often do we come across people who are in the depths of despair right when we feel we are at the breaking point ourselves.   I'm not sure of the purpose, but I can say that in my moments of greatest weakness I have been able to give more of myself spiritually than at times of my greatest strength.  This does not mean that I don't know that I need to take time for myself, but this does remind me that in my darkness, in my quietness in my desperate times my strength and sustenance is in the Lord my God.  Jesus doesn't whip up a batch of bread and fish himself to feed the thousands. He tells the disciples, who have not even had time to themselves to eat, to feed the people, with money they don't have, and food they don't think will last between the 12 of them. But somehow it all works out and there is plenty to spare.  This is the way of miracles.  Some say this isn't a miracle in the same way that the water to wine at Cana was a miracle, or walking on water, or raising Lazarus was a miracle.  I agree, because it wasn't a miracle that I can't witness in my daily life.  Jesus doesn't perform this miracle, he witnesses and inspires it, he takes and shares the bread and the disciples distribute what they have to the crowds.  I imagine when the crowds see what happened they turned to the next group and shared their own bread, and so on and so forth, paying the kindness forward.  This the kind of miracle that I can get behind.  This is the kind of miracle that I can see at work in my own life and the life of those who I minister to, those I love.  So I find myself wishing my time of retreat would come knowing that out of my time away I will be asked to do more, but I will be refreshed and ready to share.

Pray 

Lord when I am tired, help me to recognize that others are tired and hungry.  When I am in a desolate and desperate place remind me that faith can work miracles.  Do not let me be afraid to ask for the help I need when I need it, nor give the help I can when I have the capability.  Be present with me Jesus when I need rest and respite from the storm of life, but remind me that I must come back and be your witness to the world.  Amen

Contemplation

15 minutes meditation accompanied by the wind (today is quite a windy day in Bethlehem) 

Mark 6: 13- 29

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Mark 6: 13- 29 (NRSV)

13They cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.
14 King Herod heard of it, for Jesus' name had become known. Some were saying, 'John the baptizer has been raised from the dead; and for this reason these powers are at work in him.' 15But others said, 'It is Elijah.' And others said, 'It is a prophet, like one of the prophets of old.' 16But when Herod heard of it, he said, 'John, whom I beheaded, has been raised.'
17 For Herod himself had sent men who arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife, because Herod had married her. 18For John had been telling Herod, 'It is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife.' 19And Herodias had a grudge against him, and wanted to kill him. But she could not, 20for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he protected him. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed; and yet he liked to listen to him. 21But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his courtiers and officers and for the leaders of Galilee. 22When his daughter Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests; and the king said to the girl, 'Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it.' 23And he solemnly swore to her, 'Whatever you ask me, I will give you, even half of my kingdom.' 24She went out and said to her mother, 'What should I ask for?' She replied, 'The head of John the baptizer.' 25Immediately she rushed back to the king and requested, 'I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.' 26The king was deeply grieved; yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he did not want to refuse her. 27Immediately the king sent a soldier of the guard with orders to bring John's head. He went and beheaded him in the prison, 28brought his head on a platter, and gave it to the girl. Then the girl gave it to her mother. 29When his disciples heard about it, they came and took his body, and laid it in a tomb.

Think

The king was deeply grieved; yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he did not want to refuse her.
I am not a parent.  But how often have I seen a child who is behaving badly rewarded so that they will not make more of a scene.  In the past week I have seen it in the grocery store, and at church, and in the past in countless lines or places where children get impatient.  I've done it myself, when kid's I'm watching start acting up I will give them what ever they want to stop crying, whatever they want can be a dangerous thing to promise.  A friend of mine is trying to potty train a three year old, and I won't ever forget reading that the toddler said he would use the potty if one of  two impossible options were given to him.
Herod is in this impossible position with his niece/step-daughter, Herodias' daughter.  He told her he would give what ever was in his power to give.  She asks for something, not that she wants but that her mother wants, and Herod is obliged, or seems obliged to give it to her.  Because he can't break his oath and he doesn't want to disappoint the guests.
What kind of guests are these, that they want to see a beheaded man in the midst of a birthday celebration!   I know that Herod opposes the power of John, any king would, John had a huge following and he spoke with authority.  But Herod also has respect for John, he sees him as a holy man or he would have killed him when he was arrested.  Its a delicate balance respect and fear.  And often times we fall on the side of fear, and fear leads to destruction rather than peaceful reconcilliation. 
In this passage I find myself wondering what would I want to happen if I were one of the guests.  Would I have spoken out and said this request is ridiculous, what do you really want child, a beautiful gold necklace perhaps, a new herd of camels, a handsome husband in your future marriage?  Would I have looked forward to see if Herod could be controled by the will of a child?  Would I have left before they brought back his head, feigning illness? I'd like to think I would have done something.  But chances are, in the presence of the King and a princess, and other powerful people I would have remained silent.  I would have been not unlike the crowds in the tale of the Emperor's new clothes.  I would not have spoken up about the ridiculous and damaging request. 

Pray

Heavenly Lord, I pray that your strength will resonate in my soul when I am a witness to atrocities.  I hope I never am present for a physical execution, but I ask that I be more aware and vocal about the destruction of psyches of bullying, of racism, sexism, agism, classism, and any other hateful speech or action.  May your love lead me to be fearless instead of fearful in the face of worldly power.  Help me to stand up to the kings of this world and align myself totally with you.   AMEN

Contemplation: 

Contemplate the image in my minds eye which is the party which occurs around this famous painting 

Mark 6: 1- 13

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Mark 6: 1- 13 (NRSV)

He left that place and came to his hometown, and his disciples followed him. 2On the sabbath he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astounded. They said, 'Where did this man get all this? What is this wisdom that has been given to him? What deeds of power are being done by his hands! 3Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon, and are not his sisters here with us?' And they took offense at him. 4Then Jesus said to them, 'Prophets are not without honor, except in their hometown, and among their own kin, and in their own house.' 5And he could do no deed of power there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and cured them. 6And he was amazed at their unbelief.
Then he went about among the villages teaching. 7He called the twelve and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. 8He ordered them to take nothing for their journey except a staff; no bread, no bag, no money in their belts; 9but to wear sandals and not to put on two tunics. 10He said to them, 'Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave the place. 11If any place will not welcome you and they refuse to hear you, as you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them.' 12So they went out and proclaimed that all should repent. 13They cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.

Think:

One of the things I try to remember when I go home to either one of my "home parishes" to preach is this passage.  These people knew me when I was lost but now I'm found and I wonder if sometimes they still think of me as a lost little child (now mind you I didn't join my congregation which sponsored me for ordination until after graduate school, so they didn't actually know me as a child) but I think that would even be worse.

Someone asked me the other day why the teenagers didn't listen to them, didn't like them, didn't want to open up to them.  I reminded them that they saw these teens in diapers, and asked if they would have opened up to an  old family friend with their issues of faith, just because they wanted them too.  How often do we forget that when we were children we were not the people we are today.  However how often do we hold onto the images of young people as toddlers and children when they come back home.  I can't begin to tell you how many times someone has told me they have known the person I am with since they were "this high" or "in diapers" and its always a little disconcerting.  I want to respond with, really, I've known them since they were about this high (and put my hand on top of their head if they are standing next to me).  It's not a question of how long you know someone - rather it is a question of how long you are willing to get to know someone.

Jesus' was judged by those who though they knew him.  How often am I guilty of this in my own life?  I think I know you because we went to high school together, or grade school or church.  I think I know you because you worked with me 4 years ago or sat next to me in geometry class, even though we never talked, and we are friends on facebook now.  How often do I expect others to be exactly the same when I know that I have changed so much in recent years.  How often do I cringe when someone says "you look just the same" and then turn around and say the same thing to others.

Pray

Jesus, you were judged by your hometown and not accepted. Help me to see people for where they are and not where they have come from. Be present with me when I am judged according to my past and allow me to open my heart to see the growth and change in people which can be so difficult to observe when all we want to see is more of the same.  I ask that you be my vision always, through Your Father, and the Holy Spirit as well.  Amen

Contemplate:

I am not the same girl I was.  Nor will I ever be again.  

Galatians 1: 1- 17

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Galatians 1: 1- 17 (NRSV)

Paul an apostle-sent neither by human commission nor from human authorities, but through Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised him from the dead- 2and all the members of God's family who are with me, To the churches of Galatia: 3Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, 4who gave himself for our sins to set us free from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, 5to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel- 7not that there is another gospel, but there are some who are confusing you and want to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8But even if we or an angel from heaven should proclaim to you a gospel contrary to what we proclaimed to you, let that one be accursed! 9As we have said before, so now I repeat, if anyone proclaims to you a gospel contrary to what you received, let that one be accursed!
10 Am I now seeking human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ. 11For I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel that was proclaimed by me is not of human origin; 12for I did not receive it from a human source, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ. 13You have heard, no doubt, of my earlier life in Judaism. I was violently persecuting the church of God and was trying to destroy it. 14I advanced in Judaism beyond many among my people of the same age, for I was far more zealous for the traditions of my ancestors. 15But when God, who had set me apart before I was born and called me through his grace, was pleased 16to reveal his Son to me, so that I might proclaim him among the Gentiles, I did not confer with any human being, 17nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were already apostles before me, but I went away at once into Arabia, and afterwards I returned to Damascus.

Think:

Even Paul struggled with peer pressure.  "Am I now seeking human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people?  If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ"

How many people in service professions are trying to please people, or seek human approval?  I know that when I was an undergraduate all I wanted to do was help people, but I wasn't sure what that would look like. That's exactly what I told my mentor, Professor Ghanssia (RIP and RIG), when he asked why I was wasting my time as a psych major (his words not mine).  All I want to do is help people.  His response was you can't help people in psych, you maybe can help A person.  I was discouraged because I wanted to please myself and please him, he had inspired me to do some of my best writing.  So I struggled with what I wanted to do from the first of it.  Out of his inspiration I sought a new path, but I remained in "people pleasing" mode.  I was always looking for away to get approval from my friends, my family, my boss.  It has taken a lot of time to get to the point that I at least recognize that about myself, and now I don't try to seek pleasure as much for other people.  I know that my actions won't make them happy or miserable.  The only person who I can make happy is myself, and even that doesn't always work out all that well.  The only person who is always approving of me despite my many failures is God.  (see the cartoon below from Radio Free Babylon for a good sense of perspective on this)

Pray:
Help me to stop trying to please others, and focus on my relationship with you, God.  Amen

Contemplation:
10 minutes centering prayer if the dog will just shut up for 10 minutes.